Originally Posted by DazednConfused
No, I haven't told her what he has been saying, from what I've learned here there needs to be some sort of trusting communication between he and I if this will ever work.
The trust needs to be that there will be NO secrets from your wife. He and your spouse both need to know that that relationship comes first. If anyone asks you to keep secrets from your spouse, immediately tell them that you discuss and share everything with your spouse and that anything they share with you will be shared with her.
However, I agree with RedPepper here. Your descriptions of this situation just screams "teenage girl". She is acting like a spoiled teenager with absolutely no regard for the people she claims to love and wants to keep in her life. She wants what she wants, when she wants it and everyone else better stay out of her way.