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Old 08-16-2010, 05:04 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,217

Originally Posted by Phisch View Post
Is it really fair for me to try to be who I am and ask her to share me when I am not OK with her being with another man?
No, it is not fair. If you want to be with other women, it is only fair that she have the choice to be with other men.

Is this counter-intuitive to the ideas of polyamory?
Yes, it is counter-intuitive to the "ideas of polyamory" for things to not be a "two-way street".

Do others live by these rules or feel the same way?
There are other people who say they feel the same as you described.

It feels selfish of me to lay down that rule but I would rather not be with others that to share her with another man.
Two-way street. You don't have the right to "lay down that rule". If she agrees to it, or if she is not interested in other men, then there is no need to "lay down the rule".

Let me ask you this - if you were to become involved with another woman, would you also expect Woman #2 to not be involved with any men besides yourself?

It sounds as though you require a "one penis policy". This can work only if it is what everyone involved wants. You can't dictate what someone else wants. The only thing you can control is yourself.
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