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Old 08-16-2010, 04:35 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by Superjast View Post
I`ve got big X`s crossing out the days on the calender,..not much longer now !
Poly lesson #1 I learned was google calendars...

ummmm does that mean since I am not using them, this won't work .....

Originally Posted by fu
You two are adorable.
well thats a first...adorable is not a describer used to describe me very often


So my thoughts on expectations are always evolving. I am very logical in how I work through life. So when I start to see something positive and evolving I instinctually start thinking ahead.

The real danger, for me, is that I can create scenario's that transfer from a hope or a dream to an expectation. This can become emotionally damaging because if it doesn't happen exactly how I predicted I begin to second guess my, this in and of itself is not dangerous, however this makes me question the foundation of what I am building.

Imagine playing jenga, and building a foundation that is strong and continuing to add to it. I am playing 4 or 5 moves ahead based on my expectation of what my opponent will do. In a game this is expected but in life it become dangerous. If my opponent makes move I don't expect, then I HAVE to second guess what I did before, analyze and figure out where I went wrong.

There may not be a wrong in relationships. So by immediately being wrong, the relationship and foundation in my head has been weakened.

In jenga, you get to play again.

To use a real world example that has long expired. I began to develop real and very strong expectations of what would happen with E. I saw her living with us, having a family. Her supporting us as we would her. Everything looked perfect. The problem is, I had moved to far ahead of the reality of the situation. Pengrah and I were fine with it, but E wasn't.

So now, I have internal battles with my expectations. I still have hopes and dreams moving forward with the things going on in my life now. But I battle daily to remember, not to expect them. Its tough when you can see something clearly...but you have to try and remember potential roadblocks

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