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Old 08-13-2010, 09:49 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
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Originally Posted by redsirenn View Post
The repetition about this topic is not efficient and personally gives me a headache. It also makes me feel like what is the fucking point of pointing something out - thus feeling a bit unwelcome myself.

So - can I suggest to the mods to move this under the thread for forum suggestions ONLY if we can all attempt to do this in a clearer, more efficient way? Please?

That I feel would be progress.

This is what I am saying here, what makes people stop talking or engaging in a thread is that they aren't interested or they get their back up and don't see the point. Thank you Red for giving me an example. Sorry it's because you are legitimately getting a headache from all of this

As for moving these particular posts from here to "suggestions" I'm all for it, I think that is a better place for it. It's up to ygirl though as it's her thread and she can mod it herself anyways... (besides she is better at it than me). op, she's done it.... (having read ahead).

Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
My "take" on it is that the "People Who Leave" are friends or acquaintances of Ceoli, either in real life, on other online venues, or both. For some reason, They would rather not use their own voices to speak Their minds, but instead are content to have Ceoli be Their mouthpiece. I believe in speaking up for those who CANNOT speak for themselves (such as abused children and animals), not those who CHOOSE not to speak for themselves (such as grown, presumably literate, humans with access to the internet).
ya, I think that some of the issue, is that some people came here, didn't like what people said to them, didn't like that some people objected to their approach and left in a huff and decided to bad mouth a forum that didn't suit their needs when it clearly suits others... why they can't leave that alone and find their own peeps to hang with, all with a "meh, they are doing find and so are we" kind of attitude, I don't know...

I wonder if they are used to a certain type/style of expression and a poly within that. There is a large mix of people here that challenge a person that engages in certain activities just by telling their own story. Perhaps they decided to remove themselves and chalk us up to being exclusive because of their own discomfort in getting to know something different to their reality; rather than looking at their own exclusivity and be curious about others?

I wonder if perhaps its more to do with a type of individual who enjoys this forum or not rather than about exclusivity and marginalization.

I admire your tenacity Ceoli, if in fact Ygirl is right. I think it's great that you attempt to make the world a better place for those who struggle to speak for themselves, grown ups (etc.) or not.

I find it a shame however, and again, if what ygirl says is true, that instead of advocating for them to expand their minds and reach out to see what is out there in the poly world, you have chosen to close your own and continue to pursue a goal that is just as exclusive and marginalizing as you think we all are.

Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
I thought everyone should know that I do in fact judge people. You know I mean it because I didn't put the word "judge" in quotes. WEll, yes I did just there, but not before...
I agree, I think we all judge. It's human nature to do so, it helps us find our place in the world... by judging we create our own self worth and self eteem.

What needs to happen next I think is to consider what we do with that judgment. I think we owe it to the world as a whole to work towards it being a better place... for me doing that means taking my judgment, looking at every aspect of it, pulling it a part and then creating acceptance and admiration for differences.

This is a long process sometimes, it's not always evident that I am there yet, but I am consciously aware that I am going through this process and ask for patience to get there... We have a whole life time of this kind of process I think. There is no rush and I think it should always be respected that others are going through it too.

ygirl, I have found that you are judgmental, but I also find that you get to the same place I do, perhaps by the same means, perhaps not, but you get there.... I am warmed to you for that reason.

Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
I'm off to the campsite for the weekend. Anyone who is friends with me on Fakebook has my cell phone number, and it gets a good signal at the camp, so feel free to contact me if anything needs to be imploded.
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