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Old 08-12-2010, 03:02 PM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 900
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
I'll call shenanigans on this.

The type of behavior expected is here is the type that would be acceptable at a dinner party. Posters can disagree with each other and continue in discussion. They can't scream at other people or cuss others out willy nilly or anything else that would have them escorted out of a dinner party in short order.
Interesting. I'm not actually talking about people screaming or cussing others out willy nilly. I'm talking about how accepting the general culture is. To bring it to extreme examples is a straw man argument. Besides, who's dinner party? Different people have different ideas of what polite dinner party conversation is. Some people aren't allowed to swear at all, others are. Either way, it's a spurious argument at best. It's saying that people who have experienced insult must be polite about how they've been insulted. That's not always the best way to respond. Being authentic with your anger is not the same is throwing out "fuck you's" willy nilly. Yet it does tend to come to that when people here are chastised (and by chastised, I mean told by the community as a whole that they have no business expressing their feelings on the matter) for being angry at something long before it gets there.


Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
Ygirl communicates in a fashion that is both blunt and avoids abusing other people. She meets the standard expected for discussion here--the same standard that applies to everybody.

If folks can't figure out what the difference is between how YGirl communicates here and how other posters who have been moderated communicate, then I'll offer that the problem is not one inherent in the policies of this site.
Again, not the point I'm making. The dynamic is much more subtle than that.


Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
We don't have a policy of politeness here; we have a standard of civil discussion here. We may couch it in a general description of "play nicely," though you'll find that the more concrete guidelines point to a standard of civility. Our preference in moderating the boards is to allow as much free expression as possible while maintaining civility.
And again, people can appear to be playing nicely whilst simultaneously flat out invalidating the experiences of others. They can couch this in "it's just how I feel" or "my poly isn't your poly" etc, but the effect still stands. Most people don't even know they're doing this. But generally, this is not a space where people can be called out on their ignorance without it turning into some drama. There are other boards that have a much more mature approach to it and where there can be a much more diverse community that can safely coexist.

If you want to be proud of your exclusivity, more power to you.
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