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Old 08-12-2010, 06:10 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723
Default On Ygirl

K, confession time- for over a year now I have been PMing people on here who seemingly get their back up over your statements that seemingly come out of know where if one doesn't know you. I have been giving them a gentle info session on the subtle humour and not so delicate way you say things.... just to help them understand and give them guidance so that they may not be offended...

I know that you have helped me. My spelling and grammer has never been better not to mention the kicks in the ass you have given me. we are oh so helpful to one another aren't we? Symbiotic for sure!

Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
I also think that people are not as "unique" as they are taught to think they are, and that it is a bit of a waste to patronize others with things like "my poly is not your poly". Even though there is a lot of validity in that statement and others like it, they can make a convenient smoke-screen when folks want to avoid responding to or dealing with something that makes them feel uncomfortable.
yup, this would be me on occasion. I am guilty of that and happy to admit. I like that about myself. I actually know when I have had enough and chose to back out of further bashing over the head with not the intent to help or be gentle when I am already beaten, but to make a point of making me uncomfortable and showing me up; kicking me more when I am already down. Call it patronising if you will, but I call it saving face and why shouldn't we have that right?

Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
I've heard two types of criticism about the "tone" or "culture" of this forum. One, that everyone on here is here to "yes" each other and only the people who agree with the "feel-good-I'm-ok-you're-ok-and-don't-you-dare-rain-on-my-parade" are "privileged" and "acceptable". While on the other hand, there is a backlash of "But I thought this forum was supposed to be for SUPPORT, and I was JUDGED instead."

When I first joined here I didn't think I would last very long. I thought I would be scolded by the moderators and eventually banned.
People have left because of the atmosphere of this forum being a therapeutic environment rather than a "fuck you asshole you're wrong" fest as on other forums... why have you stayed...?

I do hope those who can't play nice have found other alternatives. I wouldn't want them to be left out, but don't encourage them to come here if they have that attitude.
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