I happen to agree with you on the "why do we have to pretend we're saying something nice. Constructive Cristicism isn't kissing your ass-it's CRITICISING what you are DOING (wrong imo).
It's ironic-because I've stayed out of the HMA/Violet drama, but I find that in my real life I'm getting some shit for being blunt and point blank as well.
A lot of people just do not want to know what they do wrong. They'd rather just hear the things that they do right-and never know what they do wrong. People like to complain and whine about their life-martyr themselves or blame others for their misery. They don't really want to CHANGE their life/problems.
I've gotten to the point that often-I just don't reply to a lot of the posts anymore-for precisely that reason. I also don't listen or respond to a lot of the complaining by people around me in R/L for the same reason.