Bless your precious heart.
I know it's hard, oh! so HARD! but you did the right thing in being honest about where you really are and what you really feel. As much as it hurts now, can you imagine how Bob would have felt if you'd had that conversation after you were married? Or worse, if you had never opened up to him on your authentic feelings and lived your whole life denying part of who you are? Or worse still, discovering that you just CAN'T suppress that part of you, and cheated on your marriage? As much as y'all are hurting now, believe me when I tell you it it would have only gotten worse.
At the very least, you have started a dialogue. Now you are all aware of an issue to be addressed. And now that it's out there, y'all can look at it, think about it, work through it. Or decide you can't work through it, and walk away.
But whatever happens from this point, you can move forward honestly and openly. And that is an honorable place to be. You did the right thing there.
Now, once again I have to point you back to the cross. Christ will help you navigate this heartbreakingly difficult time. Pray: long, hard and often. Seek His help and follow His lead. Give Him the broken pieces of your heart, and you will be amazed with what He makes of them. Do not be afraid to follow where He leads. He knows the plan he has for you better than you ever will, and he can see farther than you can; trust Him.
(Please note that I didn't say trust in religious tradition, or any other person's interpretation of God's will. Trust in God alone; EVERYONE else falls short.)
More help: search this forum. There is a wealth of information from people facing issues much like yours. Especially look through the "New to Poly" section. (Which is where this thread really belongs, imo.) You are not alone.
Keep your head up. Continue to move forward with integrity, love and compassion. Be true to yourself, and to your loved ones.