You've received lots of good advice. Now you just have to work on it but you are going to need the support of your partner. Try and get her to have a look on this forum, or better still participate herself. She needs to understand that if she wants to pursue a polyamorous relationship and retain what she has with you she is going to have to work hard at communicating with you and not withdraw into her own guilt. I don't quite understand what you mean by "satiate my dysfunction"? On re-reading your initial post I think you are taking far too much of this upon yourself. Maybe stop looking upon yourself as dysfunctional and start seeing yourself as a brave loving person who has the emotional intelligence to try and give your loved one what she wants in life. Most of the population can't get anywhere near this. The gift you are giving her is big stuff, never forget that.
Best of Luck