Originally Posted by redpepper
I think you might understand idealist. I am feeling like you, but don't have a home of my own to be in.
Since I've had a child I have felt like my room with PN (like that better than Nerdist, thanks breathes
) isn't mine. I spent tons of time with the baby and he had the bed and room to himself. Now I am at Mono's two nights a week I feel like our room is even less mine.
I have never enjoyed sharing a room. We never planned on even living together when we married even, it just kind of happened. Now I feel like there is no space for just me. If and when Mono lives in the basement suite I would have a room there. Its a two bedroom apartment and we would open up the whole house again with a. Indoor door to the place so that I can go up and down the stairs. This idea causes some problems for PN because it would be like I would be living with Mono. He is worried that he and I would lose our connection.
You're right breathes, I do need time for myself. I take it in little bits, but I don't really have anywhere to go. It feels rather pathetic actually. I was hoping my tersiary would let me vacation in the room at his house for a day or two next week, but I haven't heard from him. That isn't uncommon and his world IS turned up side down, I don't want to push.
I think I might plan a trip to visit my ex in Utah. I haven't been there yet and it means I get to go to Vegas. Never been anywhere along the west coast of the states, it could be just what I need. A break is sometimes as good as a break.
You're quite welcome although I won't take the credit, others have been calling Poly Nerdist PN from the beginning of this thread so I just followed suit
Why not check into bed & breakfasts in your area? Go to one for a day & night or a weekend and just be?
Sometimes absence is good for the soul AND the relationship
Right now it sounds like RP needs to take care of RP.
We have the same problem here with space or the lack of. It's a two bedroom apartment with one belonging to the kids & one to Breathes & myself. I don't have a place where I can go and just be without kicking someone out of a room somewhere along the way although they all know that if I'm in the bedroom alone & the door is closed it had better be life or death in order to enter, lol, & even then they had better knock!
I discovered, as a teen, that writing can be very cathartic. I'm glad you've discovered it
. It helps me, and probably others, to see that you (& the others in your life) are human too. You always have such good advice to give to those of us who ask questions so it's nice to give the support back once in a while.
I've found that on these forums, & online in general, it's easy to put others we talk with on a daily basis, or nearly so, on a pedestal because we don't see them in their day to day lives. We don't see, or hear, about the problems because we are reluctant to sound whiny (not that you are, it's how I perceive writing about my problems online) and not in control of our situation. We see the others as perfect, in that oh-so-wonderfully-perfect relationship, in our ideal relationship.
You get that time to yourself and I'll bet things will start looking rosy again and the solution to the current problem will present itself and you'll all be hitting your foreheads in astonishment that it was really such a simple solution in the end.