I think you might understand idealist. I am feeling like you, but don't have a home of my own to be in.
Since I've had a child I have felt like my room with PN (like that better than Nerdist, thanks breathes
) isn't mine. I spent tons of time with the baby and he had the bed and room to himself. Now I am at Mono's two nights a week I feel like our room is even less mine.
I have never enjoyed sharing a room. We never planned on even living together when we married even, it just kind of happened. Now I feel like there is no space for just me. If and when Mono lives in the basement suite I would have a room there. Its a two bedroom apartment and we would open up the whole house again with an indoor door to the place so that I can go up and down the stairs. This idea causes some problems for PN because it would be like I would be living with Mono. He is worried that he and I would lose our connection.
You're right Breathes, I do need time for myself. I take it in little bits, but I don't really have anywhere to go. It feels rather pathetic actually. I was hoping my tersiary would let me vacation in the room at his house for a day or two next week, but I haven't heard from him. That isn't uncommon and his world IS turned up side down, I don't want to push.
I think I might plan a trip to visit my ex in Utah. I haven't been there yet and it means I get to go to Vegas. Never been anywhere along the west coast of the states, it could be just what I need. A break is sometimes as good as a break.