I agree. But just like w more typical one-on-one relationships, I hold to the idea to not move in w a lover full time til you've known each other a good year. Then you really get to know them and see if you'd be compatible 24/7.
I've been w my current gf 19 mos and we still maintain separate residences, even tho we spend days each wk together, and I am getting sick of the driving.
In my case, 10 yrs ago my ex and I opened our relationship to others. He fell in love w a single woman. While I liked her, i was NOT amenable to having her move right in, as he was pushing for. Mon dieu!
We had youngish kids at the time too. And I didnt want a "sister wife" to help me raise them, esp w what I knew of the gf's background.
But even if we hadnt had kids, no. No way would she get to move in on my territory, no matter how their NRE was telling them they were instant soul mates. Esp if she wanted to become a 2nd primary. I'd had him for over 20 yrs, I wasnt about to let someone he knew a few wks suddenly become my equal in household decisions.
Heh, when our first Valentine's day came, and he gave her the exact same present he gave me, I flipped and made them break up.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
"Master," (mono, 36), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years