A bit more about the Now
Thank you, Erato.
A quick update about where things are: N and I are doing well, being nice and loving towards each other, and starting to recall what the point of this marriage was to begin with. G and I speak almost every day; she's planning to relocate closer to her birth family while she's job-hunting. It is very bittersweet-- we really yearn for each-other, but cannot meet face to face.
From N's perspective, she's been generous- she grew to accept Gs existance as my GF and my communication with G. She also accepted that I will spend a fortnight with G once every 6 months.
From my perspective, this is only acceptable as a temporary measure while N and I are rebuilding and G is moving. G and I really want to be physically close more often than that in the longer term. Also, I really want to be able to "date" - to meet new women and have some avenue to allow mutual sexual interest to be enjoyed and explored.
So right now we are in a mono + ldr mode, trying to work on our marriage. It is fun to rediscover N, but I'm worried I'll lose G and lose myself to a "don't rock the boat" kind of living death.
How can I keep the joy of being poly fresh in my mind over such a long hiatus?