Originally Posted by FitChick
I find this interesting because I find myself on the other side,my partner is poly,and I am mono but he has lots of female friends(some of whom he's dated in the past) who phone him when they want a threesome with their boyfriend. they just assume because he is openly poly that neither of us would mind. I find this 'propositioning' a little irksome as my concept of polyamory is not of multiple casual partners,and neither is his.
A related problem I've encountered is that some women who find out Curly and I are poly suddenly assume that I want to date them. Um...no. Just because I can date women besides my wife doesn't mean that I want to date every woman I know. I have no idea why they'd think I'd find them suitable for dating when I'd never shown any interest and there'd never been any chemistry.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.