Thank you to everyone, yet again, for your replies. I haven't had the time to collect myself and post up my current feelings, because some things have changed. Others, obviously, haven't.
We are dealing with the unfortunate situation that HMA just posted about with Adrian, and as soon as we're able to all calm down for a minute and feel heard and understood, I'll post up where at least I stand - and with Lana's help, maybe where she does too so she can get some insight. I'm sure HMA will do the same, and try to accurately represent Adrian's as well so we can get some honest feedback - which has proved, to me at least, invaluable in dealing with sorting out my feelings, getting back in touch with "me", and learning to better deal with the situation (ideal or not) that we've found ourselves in.
Thanks again everyone. Much love!