Originally Posted by Tiana
I told Bob. It broke his heart. He wants a monogamist relationship that I can't give him. He hates John. Through it all he was willing to accept me as who I am, but without John, because of how he is wronged by him. He has asked me to not speak with anyone about this or to John at all until he gets home from work tomorrow while he thinks about things and sorts through it.
There are things I want so badly, I DO want to get married, to have that fairy tale wedding, to have children and a family. I do not know if John can give this to me, but Bob can. But Bob doesn't understand the cost it would be to both me and John if I just cut John out of my life.
I will post more later after I have spoken with him again.
Sometimes we just have to accept that we can't have everything in life. You've got a tall order there for sure.
What is truly important here?
Is it to be able to have an open poly relationship where others will come into your life?
Is it obtaining all the things usually associated with traditional marriages and family?
Is it specifically to do with John?
I don't mean to offend, but from my perspective, Bob can give you security and a family and the appearance of the fairy tale.... John can give you passion and the understanding you are looking for. Maybe it's time to surrender the fairy tale wedding and family dream and explore John more fully. It sounds as if you really want him....but I am often full of shit