I told Bob. It broke his heart. He wants a monogamist relationship that I can't give him. He hates John. Through it all he was willing to accept me as who I am, but without John, because of how he is wronged by him. He has asked me to not speak with anyone about this or to John at all until he gets home from work tomorrow while he thinks about things and sorts through it.
There are things I want so badly, I DO want to get married, to have that fairy tale wedding, to have children and a family. I do not know if John can give this to me, but Bob can. But Bob doesn't understand the cost it would be to both me and John if I just cut John out of my life.
I will post more later after I have spoken with him again.