thanks to all
By the range of your responses, I now see that some of my introduction was unclear. Nevertheless, all of your responses were helpful and in the end it seems that just finding the right time and mood is probably what will be necessary for me to talk to my wife about my desires. I'm not looking for swinging, and that wasn't made clear. I'm looking for another woman to excite me in all aspects of my life, but hopefully to have an above board relationship known to my spouse. How we would define that arrangement for each of us would be a lot more fun than just getting to the point of admitting to her that I desire some variety, but variety with full relations established.