Well, redpepper, I would have agreed...but then last night...
So my wife was convinced that B and H weren't into her, at all. I suppose that she has some serious self-esteem issues at times, and it's hard for her sometimes to view a situation in a neutral light. Last night she said she wanted to call B, and apologize for a lot of things, and wish her well. And I told her, OK, you do that.
As I smiled behind her.
You see (as B made it abundantly clear to her in what became a two-hour-plus phone call) B has a massive crush on my wife. I can't say I didn't see that coming, because she'd been dropping hints in e-mails to us, and B and I had been sending a few texts--approved, I should stress, by my wife--where she had sort of hinted at that. I had been trying to tell my wife this, but she was so convinced she was unlovable and unattractive that it wasn't coming through. Well, B brought out the clue bat last night, and I think she got the message. They had a wonderful (I assume--I left them alone to it and all I could hear from the other side of the house was giggling) woman-to-woman chat, and when it was over, my wife was a rather changed woman.
So the last twelve hours have seen a lot of conversation between us. I think secretly this is what my wife wanted. In the past, she'd hinted that she could see joining a triad/quad "if it was with the right people". So are B and H the right people, I asked? "Maybe." Before, she was unhappy about what was going on between B and I...now she thinks she is crushing on both of us and she's...well, I leave that up to your imagination on how she's feeling. She's already told B that she wants the four of us to meet up again...and that she wants to meet up with B alone to go shopping (as you do). Kind of a 180, yes.
So have we made the transition from swinging to a relationship? Not yet. But it's getting closer, I think.