Redpepper sending positive thoughts your way.
I have been married 19 years and I can definitely say that the years 7-12 were some of our worst. Alot of this sounds like normal marriage crap. I don't know if it is prior unrealistic expectations and reality not matching up or 500 different things left to pile up. I've done my share of irrational lashing out, attacking anything convienent to blame for why things are bad. I eventually realized I was being irrational. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone and others have been there (even if the details vary). Hopefully you guys can come to a mutually beneficial solution.