So I made my Mono a pie last night in my panties
He was pleased. I was glad to treat him as he has been so supportive. It was damned good pie too!
I felt sad all night however. I had that same tug of pain when I left the house to go to my OH. Said goodbye to the boy and kissed Nerdist. *pang* will it ever fucking go away?! Its the same one when I say goodbye to Mono at the front door of the house I share with Nerdist and the boy. *pang* everytime. Its become almost a torture.
This morning I came home to Nerdist still in bed, he hadn't slept. I tried to convince him to stay at home but he wouldn't. We had a quiet morning in which the boy got very upset when Nerdist asked if I was okay. I am just sad. That's all, sad, but we ended the conversation quickly when the boy got upset.
My tersiary is in the middle of a terrible divorce. He asked me last night to take pictures of him and I in play off my fetlife. Not why, just asked. So I did it. He identifies as a dom now and she as a sub. It made me wonder what is going on and what she might be using against him. He is trying to remove his fetlife account too.
I wrote my tersiary this morning to ask if I can rent her room. Just for once or twice a month. I asked if I could take a holiday in it for a couple of days to try it out. I'm waiting to hear what he says. He needs the money, so I hope to work something out and get at least one need met; my need for space in my own room. I could take my painting stuff and make it my studio. I haven't been able to go to mine since coming out to my parents. Its in their house and just sitting there. I don't want to intrude and certainly don't feel creative and safe there. Things are going well with them, but it would be pushing it for me to feel safe just yet.
Trying to figure out how to get my need met of having my family all in one place so I don't get that *pang* anymore. That will be more difficult I think.