Originally Posted by myelsewhere
Also, to add another complicating factor to the mess, he told me he still feels like he wants us to have sex together with another female (not R) or couple because that is all he wanted all along. I'm confused about how I feel on this, because I'm happy with R and I don't know how she would react to that possibility. Also, I'm afraid that it is an unrealistic band-aid for his feelings on poly, and will only make things worse when he doesn't feel the way he thinks he will after it's said and done.
Just wanted to say Welcome!! I too am stuck in a place where there is not much support....the deep south. But this forum provides a great deal of support for me!!!
Your post reminded me of some things me and Richard are dealing with. We decided to get into the swingers community since there is no poly community here and actually there are a lot of poly people in the swinger community, they just don't call themselves poly. But you can tell the difference by what they are looking for.
Anyway- it can be difficult to identify the reasons for entering into a poly lifestyle and remain focused on them. And some of those reasons are conflicting.
For example- desiring close emotionally intimate relationships that become sexual is one of the motivations. But- experiencing an incredible MFMF sexual experience at the end of a first date with a couple is also a motivation and quite an incredible experience also!!!
Experiencing a FMF sexual experience is a motivation for a lot of people....with or without emotinal connection. Slowly developing an emotional connection between two woman and a man is nice too.
Sometimes, we go into this lifestyle with certain expectations and end up experiencing things we didn't expect at all!!!! I think that's pretty much the nature of the beast!!!
Good luck and keep sharing!!! It really helps !!!