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Old 08-11-2010, 12:30 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default In all fairness

Originally Posted by Ilove2men View Post
So has he decided he is no longer poly?
I just started to think about a few things. There was the mention of Polynerdist not seeing any benefit of me in his life. So I put myself in his shoes from the perspective of what is different between when I met them and now.

When I met them they were much more open to other relationships and experiences. Redpepper had a lot of dating on the go and things moving towards becoming intimate relationships. Her and Polynerdist were exploring swinging as a couple and explored other couples as a couple and went to BDSM events together. Since I have come into thier lives, Polynerdist and her have in fact missed out on shared experiences because of my criteria or boundaries. He no longer participates in BDSM events, they no longer explore forming shared relationships as a couple. No doubt I have taken away from thier relationship as a couple. A lot of the things they once did to bond are gone from his life. I can see why that's an issue.

I have always maintained that I need to be a positive in their lives and help their relationship flourish to remain in this relationship as an intimate partner. My boundaries/criteria have not changed nor do I expect them to. So from my perspective the one benefit I seem to bring to their intimate relationship is confinement. Hmmmm...not sure if that is such a positive. More thinking to do, work work work...but it's for the sake of family and love so it's worth it

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

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