You still sound all over the place emotionally. I'm glad to see that some of it seems more positive, kind of like a patch of blue sky in the clouds. The date nights and just that little bit of time every day go a long way towards reconnecting. I'm glad PN is talking to you about what he needs, sounds to me that what he needs is to feel special. Some of that can come from you but some of it has to come from within him as well. (I'm speaking as the one that was having those feelings not too long ago). I think that sometimes we all want it to be all about us for a while and right now I think that's what he wants. Of course this is coming through the lens of Derby and might be totally out to lunch!
What I know of you though is that it would crush you to lose either PN or Mono as part of your day to day life. They are both so much a part of you that you would be a little bit less of you without either of them. When you are all together and just living there is a light inside you. It's part of what I love about you. You're not pretending to be something that you're not. Keep on talking and listining to each other and you'll get there.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.