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Old 08-03-2009, 06:02 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742

Hi everyone. I just got back from a BBQ with Redpepper and family at another poly identified family's house. This is the third get together for me and I thought I would pass the experience on. First of all, this is not an intimate relationship; it is part of a like-minded community being built.

I will be honest in saying there is still some of the "third wheel" thoughts going on for me even though they are just friends. Like when we went to play bocce ball and we had five adults..I called it a “poly quandary” LOL! There were actually times where I thought "this will never be normal to me" and “why is a mono guy hanging out with all these poly people”.

I never doubt my love for Redpepper or her family, just the social differences of our approaches and backgrounds and in fact how we love differently. It's very hard to accept I am actually moving into a whole new social circle sometimes. I also admit I have moments of missing my old monogamous, vanilla cracker social environment. Black and white is a comfortable place even though the depth is not there usually.

Now, moving on. I had a very good time! I played lots with both their kids and we all played back yard games together. Redpepper was surprised to see that I, like her husband, played a game called "hackey sac" when I was younger. We had a very good time and I feel my friendship with her husband growing constantly. I love knowing he would be a great friend regardless.

Even though I wasn't as affectionate as Redpepper would have liked I think she truly enjoyed seeing her men together and both families enjoying each other's company. Another great evening!!
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