Drove into town with Mr. Unicorn today. Ran some errands, and then spent the rest of the day with Griffin. I've been seeing more of him lately, and it's been very nice. Trying to get in some extra time before he goes back to school and gets busy again.
Mr. Unicorn was feeling poorly when I picked him up, so it was a quiet evening at home. I got the Five Love Languages book and read it cover to cover. Before bed, we took the profile tests to determine our categories, and it turns out that Mr Unicorn is a Quality Time and Physical Touch dude who happens to be fluent in Acts of Service, and I'm a Quality Time and Acts of Service gal who happens to be fluent in Physical Touch. No wonder we have such a nice marriage!
I wasn't surprised to hear this about my husband, but mine was an interesting revelation for me. The "Acts of Service" part I really struggle with, in being able to accept acts given in love, and also feeling obligated to serve in lieu of my own needs. The Acts of Service chapter put a lot of things in perspective for me, and it will be interesting to mull over them for the next few days.
Interestingly, I think that my cuddly friend (We'll call him Hunter) might be a Physical Touch and Acts of Service sort of fellow. No wonder we get along so well.
I realized something about my feelings for Hunter that makes me feel bad. In an effort to keep myself removed from him, I invested heavily in having this very large mental list of criticisms of him. Since I've essentially gotten permission (from both myself and Mr. Unicorn) to feel however I want to feel about Hunter, I've had to revisit that rather unloving list and slowly pick it apart. It hurts me that I was so unkind to him in my head, and I feel like I've done him a real disservice, even though it was a private list that I didn't share with anyone. It might have been a self-protecting measure, but it was all wrong, and the bottom line is that I know it kept me from being a better friend for many years.
I've been slowly building a better list, a list of positives. Reasons why I think he's a good person, reasons why I like him for who he is. Things about him I find funny or attractive. It's a much better list in every way, and I wouldn't be ashamed to share this one. And I think I will share what I can think of:
Hunter has always been a very loyal friend, to all of his friends.
He is very good-natured. I've never seen him angry.
He is quick to offer help, and goes beyond the call of duty.
He is friendly and outgoing.
He has a beautiful smile, crinkly green eyes, and a ready laugh.
He speaks his mind, for better or for worse, and he is honest.
He likes to share and is very thoughtful.
He is very sweet.
His black hair is prematurely graying, and I call the bright silver scatter of hairs his "tinsel" because it's so festive and pretty. I have always loved it.
He's coming over to hang out tomorrow afternoon, and I think I'm going to let him know how I feel. That I really appreciate what a good friend he's been and that I want to get to know him better, and that my husband really doesn't care if we snuggle. And just let the conversation go from there.
I'm really happy right now and I have high hopes for tomorrow.