Originally Posted by Rarechild
I was raised in a very religious born-again and many times judgmental community, but it was not without lots of love for me as the person I am. I have repaired my thinking on how to relate to my family to a great extent-without subscribing to their religious theology and "moral" standards.
I was reared in a Nazarene church--very judgmental. Everybody at church always spoke of love, yet they always limited it so very much. Had to be the right sort of love with the right sort of people done in the right sort of way. Seemed to me that they just didn't really understand what they were talking about, as they were so very afraid of it.
When everything was within their little boundaries, though, there was a great deal of warmth and caring. Stray outside the lines and that evaporated quickly.
I think my mother doesn't want to know much about my love life because she can easily practice denial by pretending that I'm married like everybody else and nothing more. I don't hide anything from her, though I don't try to keep her updated on what's going on. Should she get bent out of shape, well, I don't have to deal with her on those terms. She can play nice or play by herself.