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Old 08-09-2010, 10:43 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

I hate to have to say it but it was a boundary break. An old one that we had at the beginning when he didn't want to know those details about our sex life. I assumed things had changed for him; Never assume RP, never, always ask *slaps forehead*! Since back then we all three have had sex on that couch and he has agreed and has been privy to all kinds of details about what Mono and I do in our Ds life and otherwise that I can't repeat here. Now all of a sudden its an issue because they will be happening at OUR house and not at the OH. Well, in our basement apartment.

Yes I do think it has to do with what has been going on with roly. Most definitely. He has a need for love and companionship from others just as I do. She was the second of two women he has fallen for that have ended it. He hasn't recovered and has chosen to revert back to the past emotionally to make it easier for himself. I get that and understand its hurting him and he need time. For me though, having waited and asked for what I need for so long, to have it all go backwards is very difficult. I have compromised for a long time. Compromising only works for a short period of time before it just doesn't and something has to give. To be told that I need to stay home more, and not be able to do what I feel comfortable with in my own home is stiffling. I was already feeling that way after asking for my own space in the form of my own room and asking to merge my two lives and it not happening, now I am stiffled more with these requests to wait more etc.

I'm waiting, I'm waiting.... What else can I do? I can't promise to be all connected and lovey with him, but I can wait. The thing is he needs me to be connected yet the waiting is making me uninterested and resentful. I would love to be able to just put it on and fake it until I make it, but today, I can't. Today I am lashing out, and I think I have a right to some of that.
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