RedPepper It seems that you have a lot on your plate right now. My dh is the "king of volunteering" (my term) and sometimes he just gets too involved without even realizing it. It takes takes a toll on him phyisically and emotionally and it usually takes some huge fights for me to get the point across that the rest of us are paying the price.
He is a person that likes to be busy and needs to be needed, so when people ask him to help, he jumps not realizing that he just added a 5th day of not being at home with his family. I would just get pissy and say that I hate whatever organization is stealing his time, which of course offended him, because he thought he was doing this for our kids. Only the kids were upset because he was never around. Now we have to have the rule that if he takes on something new, he has to give something else up until he can re-arange a new balance.
The home bodies (like myself) need that busy people to get us out of the house, but the busy people also need the home bodies to keep them balanced from over extending themselves.