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Old 08-09-2010, 04:14 PM
DharmaBum23 DharmaBum23 is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 96
Red face

Well, I am making some progress. I am now only hurting 70% to 80% of the time because of working out as opposed to the consistent 90% of the time.

I've changed my work out so that I am spending an extra 20 minutes on the treadmill although it is sometimes hard to get the third weekly session.

The good news is that I have yet to go a week without hitting the gym at least once since late April.

On an emotional note I've been doing better than I was. I have been thinking a lot about relationships. Not in regards to being happy or unhappy about my current relationship(which is going pretty ok) but about relationships for me in general.

I think that maybe I'm not "good enough" to be able to have a secondary.

To elaborate. One of the things I've noticed is that the girls that end up being interested in me usually have very profound challenges in their lives. Either they are mentally ill, have children that they want someone to help raise, are down on their luck financially, or something else. As I have reflected on this, I think that this is because of two reasons. First of all, I think it is because I'm pretty flawed myself. Second, I actually make a concerted effort to be nice to people and help them.

Now the second reason is something that even though I acknowledge, I absolutely refuse to change. Even though it opens me up to a whole lot of emotional hurt, I think that the alternative(being without any desire to help people) is much worse. However, making myself less flawed is something that hopefully will at least mitigate the number of seriously wounded people I come across.

On the social front I went to a local discussion group which was fun. There were a lot of interested monogamous people which made for an interesting mix. I don't want to go into too much detail there for confidentiality reasons, but I can say that I ended up staying out way later than I expected which wasn't a bad thing.

That's it for me. Excelsior!
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