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Old 08-09-2010, 06:51 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default where I began in a nut shell.

I always had a lot of lovers and friends with benefits growing up and I just thought that was dating. I didn't tell each of them about each other because I didn't see a need to. At some point I realized that my not telling everyone about each other was hurting them, and I was surprised. I kept at it, but would just make sure everyone knew I was a free spirit... well, a slut really.

I decided to settle into several long term relationships with men and even agreed to marry one of them. I didn't in the end, he dumped me. I became a serial monogamist. That didn't work out as I feel in love with a woman and realized that perhaps I was a lesbian.

I left men for good at age 21 and decided that my time and energy was better spent in the women's community. For about 10 years I loved and dated women; two women in particular, one of which I committed to in a marriage arrangement and I now call her my ex-wife.

Me and the ex-wife decided to be non-monogamous as I was involved with queer women in the BDSM scene and we thought perhaps it would make our relationship better. Turns out it meant that I would invite a man into our life and bed. This arrangement was exciting but when it came down to it she decided that she was monogamous and that she wanted to travel and continue school and I wanted to settle into parenthood and buying a house. she is still a big part of my life and that of my child's.

Me and the man married and he is now my husband, Poly Nerdist. We have one boy child, a house, jobs and have been married in a poly relationship for 9 years. He identifies as bisexual and I identify as pansexual. Together we have journeyed together through many poly/swinging/open situations and dynamics and have ended up so far with identifying as poly exclusively after a long journey... this may change, but for now this is where we are at.

My husband has two lovers that are very distant in his life at the moment... one man and one woman (rolypoly). He seeks someone more committed to him and available, but it just hasn't happened yet.

I have a boyfriend primary of 18 months, who is MonoVCPHG on this forum. He identifies as monogamous, straight and vanilla in all things BDSM (although the latter is not so true anymore ). I also have a girlfriend secondary, who is Derbyliscious on this site. She is married and has two kids... we have been together for about three of four months now and are slowly working on how our lives might fit together. I have a non-sexual boyfriend (NSB) that I see once a month and a tersiary that I see as often as I can these days as he is going through a divorce and has a mono girlfriend to negotiate with.

Lastly I have a D/s life that I am getting more and more connected to and identify more and more with. I consider myself a Mistress and take that role in Mono's life as well as with an on-line man I have acquired and a woman in my poly community who I am just beginning to negotiate with. This identity is more and more attractive to me but it interrupts my daily life at this point and I find myself kept at bay from living it 24/7.

So this is me so far..... more to come. thanks for reading... (actually I am thankful for writing really... feels good! )
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