he sounds like one confused guy who drug you down though his confused relationship shit...
i feel for you both.
and please PLEASE do not judge poly based off this guy.
and yes, he did set you up to fail... you shouldn't have to TEST your loved one...
i'm sorry for you both, but i think you're both better off. i just hope his OSO is okay too... at least you tried to warn her.
"...Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident." ~St Augustine