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Old 08-09-2010, 01:54 AM
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Erato Erato is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 56

Originally Posted by RickPlus View Post
Hi Cyrus,
I take issue with the poster above who says, you are already cheating on your wife since you think she wants you to have feelings only for her. People can't control their emotions. You can't say, 'I will not be jealous' or 'I will not develop romantic feelings for this woman' or 'I will be happy as a mono'. You can control your actions tho, and you are doing so. Good for you.
Sorry if I wasn't clear, what I was trying to say was that if his wife believes that: "One is to only have feelings for his or her spouse and no one else." (as quoted from his post) then he is already breaking that condition.

I never said he was doing anything wrong, sorry if it came off that I implied such, as I do not feel that (especially for poly people) this is a realistic expectation.

My point was that I feared my partner felt this way too but, when I actually talked to him about it, it turned out that this wasn't his expectation at all. He gets feelings for other people too but has no desire to pursue it, unlike us poly people, so the reason he feels hurt is not that I have those feelings but that I want to act on them. He's coming to accept that I will always want others and we're working on what we want in terms of what I/we do with those desires.
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