View Single Post
Old 08-08-2010, 01:38 PM
SourGirl's Avatar
SourGirl SourGirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South of an Igloo, North of a Desert.
Posts: 883

LDR`s are only workable, if both parties ( those living away from each other) are on the same page as to what they want from the relationship.

I personally, don`t mind LDR`s at all. In the past, they have proven to be interesting. I once dated someone ( albeit , a pilot) From Oregon, USA, while I lived in Ontario, Canada. What a great time that was. We had similiar hobbies, and enjoyed each others company quite a bit.

There is a bit of a conundrum when it comes to successful LDR`s. You have to make sure there is either a end-result goal, ( We will be together in x-amount of time. We will work towards that timeline.) or a series of mini goals, so that the relationship progresses over the long term. ( We wont ever live together, but our goal is to see each other every ____weeks, or months. Here is a plan, lets make it happen.)...and yet, at the same time, have very few expectations.

If you love something, in a LDR you REALLY do have to set it 'free'. People tend to have restrictions on one another out of fear of losing them. In LDR`s, thats usually a sure fire way to lose someone. They can`t have 'you', due to distance, but they cant have anything else either with high expectations, and fear-based rules in place.

Does this mean you dont have anything in place, to safe-guard the relationship ? No, of course not. but those safe guards should be from a 'meeting of the minds' place in life, where you use the things you both already agree on, and run with that. Not impose stipulations on each other.

Nobody wants to say it, but resources ( $$$ ) must be available. You need not be rich, but you do need the ability to earn money, and tuck some of it aside, so that visits can be kept on schedule.

Those are a couple of things off the top of my head. Good Luck
Reply With Quote