I can understand how being 7 hours away from a couple that lives together would push you into a secondary position. As a matter of day-to-day business, they simply HAVE to make decisions and may not always have the time to contact you about them.
I think it's great that you were able to move closer to them without moving in with them. I always worry when people make long-distance moves straight into someone's house. Dating someone is SO much different than living with them, and it doesn't always work out. So moving your life across the country to have it fail can leave you homeless, friendless, and stranded. This will give you a chance to make friends in the area.
Maybe when/if you all move in together, a new house would help you feel more like a primary? As opposed to moving into "their space" and them "making room" for you. I know that was a big factor when my husband and I moved in together. He'd been staying with me at my mom's, and I already only had my room, he basically had a corner of my room to put his stuff. Moving into a "neutral" apartment allowed him to feel a lot more "at home."
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."