I guess I wouldn't have stayed in it as long--ot I'd like to think I wouldn't have, anyway! I am patient with troubles and willing to spend some time watching them play out in hopes of finding a solution. Repeated incidents of her projecting negative attributes on to you and him enabling it, though, crosses my boundaries. It tells me that he has issues with boundaries and such and isn't really ready for a relationship.
Anything that indicates somebody isn't ready for a relationship is what puts me off them. My ex-GF, when we split, showed that she had some issues that work against ongoing relationships. So, when she showed some signs of wanting to reconcile, I stayed noncommittal--she'd have to address those issues before I could get seriously involved again. (She's since met somebody else and is pushing me completely away...and I don't mind that at all.)