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Old 08-05-2010, 11:39 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
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Originally Posted by bimblynim View Post
i'm always the person who initiates meet ups. I think they enjoy them, they generally accept and we have fun. but if thats the case why don't they initiate them? am I just kidding myself?
I'm like your friend here. I'm an introvert and homebody. I love quality time with my friends, but I'm somewhat oblivious and seldomly think of making plans. But when someone else makes plans and invites me, I always have a great time. Occasionally I'll think of making plans with someone, but I tend to wait.

Also I'm confused about how to react next time she comes to me with a problem (i don't think she'll contact me otherwise) the hurt part of me wants to tell her too F O, but thats not particularly positive, or how i wan't to be. but don't want to be used :0(
Rather than waiting for her to come with a problem, what about being proactive? Find a time when she doesn't have an overwhelming problem, and talk to her about how you're feeling and how the relationship feels one-sided, see if she has any feelings about that or was even remotely aware.

In my case, I'm aware that I don't often make an initiative to make plans with my friends. I've even mentioned it to friends before, so that they don't take it as me not liking them. If one of them were to tell me they need more of an effort on my part, I would make more of an effort. I would put reminders on my calendar to call them once a week and invite them over for coffee.

Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Actually its very fair.

To believe, what you put out there will always be returned, is in a lot of ways an unfair expectation.
Originally Posted by Jade View Post
I agree and disagree. We do not love in a vacuum with no desire to share. Relationships are all somewhat selfish or we would not choose to be in them.
I don't disagree that relationships are somewhat selfish. But it's great to get to a point in your life where giving love makes you feel as good as getting love. It's like the first Christmas when you realized how much fun it is to give presents instead of spending all your energy wondering what everyone is giving you. And if you can get to that point in your life, the "selfish" thing to do at Christmas time is give as many presents as you can just so you can enjoy watching everyone's happiness when they open them.

Originally Posted by bimblynim View Post
(we were realy close when she was single).
This, unfortunately, is just one of those things that happens as you get older. Your friends start pairing off and starting families. Their priorities change. When you're the only single person left in your group of friends, it's easy to feel bummed out. So go out and find some younger friends who have a while to go before they pair off, and who will appreciate your age and experience.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.

Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 08-06-2010 at 12:24 AM.
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