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Old 08-05-2010, 02:37 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is online now
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
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Ari-I concur.

We have a bizarre quad (one member not sexually involved with the rest-ever).
See: myself, Maca *my husband*, GG *my boyfriend*, Em *my sister*

Recently we've had our share of issues.
Specifically resulting in me breaking up with my boyfriend GG.
But family is family. He's been part of our family for 17 years.
So-we all talked and agreed-yes right now a break up is necessary. He has some things to deal with. Until they are resolved, I can't emotionally handle the relationship at a bf/gf level of responsibility (doesn't matter why since we all agree).

Therefore-we sat out made a plan for how to get his shit dealt with most expediently and on we go as a family.

The thing is that too often people think of relationships as static.

"you are my husband"

and so what happens if I can't be "your husband" anymore?
Well then we end the relationship and terminate contact...

Um... .there's a better way-really I swear.

IF they can't be in that ROLE any longer-you work together to find a different role that is more suitable to the current circumstances.

When you start to accept relationships as being permanent, and the dynamic (role you hold) as being maleable then you give yourself MANY more options in resolving conflicts and problems.

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