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Old 08-02-2010, 12:01 PM
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Kiwibigluv Kiwibigluv is offline
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Location: New Zealand/Aotearoa
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The following article appeared in ""The Press", a daily newspaper in one of our southern cities, Christchurch. It was probably one of the worst articles ever to be published; not just because of it's puerile, sensationalism - but because of it's poor editing.

If the article seems to end rather abruptly, that is precisely how it appeared in-print. Whoever was sub-editing that day must've been asleep...

Love: a four-letter, four-partner word

The Press, 2 March 2008

Polyamory is a word that means many loves.

Put simply, it is about couples who enjoy intimacy with a third or more partners, including sex.

And it is thriving in Christchurch.

But those who take part say there is only one problem -- jealousy.

When she was young Sue thought she would probably have a fairly typical family life as an adult.

"I think most of us of my generation grew up with the idea of being like our parents and getting married and having a family," she said.

Despite this Sue, 42, and her male partner are part of Christchurch's polyamorist community -- a group larger than most would think.

Polyamory refers to people in multiple relationships -- often these exist within a seemingly "normal" family framework. In many cases a polyamorous family will have children.

Sue and her 48-year-old partner set up an internet chat forum for other Christchurch and New Zealand polyamorists in August last year, which has since grown to over 100 members.

Sue and her partner have five children under 12 and run a business in the city. The difference between them and other families is that they have a long-term relationship with another couple.

"There isn't a sexual focus," Sue said.

"This is about an extended family."

Despite the popularity of their New Zealand Polyamory Group, Sue did not want to identify herself or her partner.

"There are business issues. People could make a judgment on us and how we conduct our life that could be totally wrong," she said. "This is particularly when you deal with the older generation. It is a lack of understanding."

They are dating another couple at the moment but not having sex with them, although that would be a "natural progression".

Sue said their children accepted the other couple as "people in our lives who are friends and part of our family".

Her parents "don't really know about her relationships", but she hopes a time will come when they can live openly and be accepted.

Bisexual Joan and heterosexual Dick are a Christchurch couple who have been happily married for 15 years and have two school-age children.

However, when they met bisexual Harriet seven years ago they thought it quite natural they should form a trio.

"Christchurch is inherently conservative," said Harriet, who has become the couple's "magic boarder" and a guardian for their children.

"It will change. I truly think talk to me in 2013 and being in a stable and unusual relationship won't be a thing that bothers people. I hope."

Jealousy is an issue that polyamorists have to learn to deal with. Harriet, 36, said openness and an understanding of where everybody stood kept it at bay in their relationship.

"The most important part of this family unit is Joan's and Dick's marriage and the children's wellbeing and my wellbeing," she said.

Joan, who is in her thirties, began looking into having multiple partners in her early twenties after she and Dick married.

"Certainly I had had experiences. I headed in both directions but it wasn't something that was going to stop me being happily married," she said.

Dick and Joan began their relationship with Harriet by inviting her around to play the piano.

Midway through the evening Dick asked if Harriet would "like to kiss his wife".
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Last edited by Kiwibigluv; 08-03-2010 at 03:41 AM. Reason: Updating article.
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