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Old 08-02-2009, 06:29 PM
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Indref Indref is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Ottawa, ON, Canada
Posts: 14
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Wow, I think I'm really going to like it on this forum, with threads like this to poke my grey matter.

I guess I'll take this a step at a time.

I guess I do have a structure in mind. The idea of a V most appeals to me. My girl has a man she's mad about him. They share something that I find myself yearning for. I mean, I'm friends with the guy, but this is a very obvious V situation. Him-Her-Me. Clear as day. And since this works so perfectly for us, the next step is to continue the chain, and for me to link with someone else. Is that petty? It seems so on paper. I know one thing for sure; life waits for you to make plans, so it can break them! So I'm just going to try to remain open to everything. And everyone.

As for having many secondaries, and no primary, I always thought that was something to avoid. Now that I really think about it, if that is what I want, and isn't less than what I need, then why not? I'm such a 'needy' guy, I am ashamed to admit, maybe I need a primary to fulfill that. Someone to have around, all the time. I hate being alone.

When it comes to polyfidelity, I'm well decided on that. I am a firm believer of openness, and in trying to find peace with how the world flows. If I manage to get a nice chain of Him-Her-Me-???, and then someone shows up and 'disrupts' that pattern, then I won't fight it. Not if it works, for all involved. In my opinion, that is what poly is to me; being open to everyone, for love and sex, as long as it works for all involved.

Ahh, the brutal question, how bold. "Would you be a secondary to someone." There's another one I've thought hard about. I think I'd say yes. I've never been there though, never been officially secondary. Maybe unofficially. I put that experience down as one I would like to try.

I think, my overall goal is to fill my life with love until no more can fit. And, above all, go with the flow in my relationships and discover where they can go.
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I have many in my family. And this is good.
I have many friends. And this is good.
I have many teachers. And this is good.

I have many loves. And this is a great concern. The greatest insanities of this world are those stock full in the face of all.
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