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Old 08-01-2010, 07:57 AM
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bimblynim bimblynim is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Oxford (uk )
Posts: 62

Originally Posted by Jade View Post

Even as friends, others can be "just not that into you." This can result from life circumstances as much as anything. It seems that all relationships exist in waves. Sometimes you're close and sometimes you drift. If you love her as a friend, there's no reason to shut down the relationship, but you may have to let any expectations of her go.
Thanks, this is probably true. I supose i was stuggling because in the past she has felt very close and it has been reciprcal. What i have trouble dealing with is that its not that she's not capable of feeling close to me its that she's not capable of feeling close to me at the moment - or posiibly ever again (we were realy close when she was single).
her feelings change more often than mine do. That's not fair! *shakes fist and stamps feet like a 2 year old*

"I was acknowledging the pain. I think we have to recognize pain before we can release it."

Thanks for the empathy jade, i guess thats what i've been trying to do

and ari think to an extent you are right relationships aren't fair, i've been consious of not putting pressure on X (i e i haven't told her how i feel) because i genuinely don't feel its something she's done out of choice. she's never tried to hurt me, just our outlooks/styles have

"Its all about finding your own level of comfort with those types of people - and accepting them for who they are"

I think your right marksbabygirl, that's what i'm trying to do,

"In terms of poly vs mono - I prefer one on one situations for my friendships. Or few on one - I don't like groups or lots and lots of people" there are 5 of us which is comfortable for me (but obv not for 2 of my friends any more) i suppose even in poly theres those who preffer v's or networks or triangles / other mutual configurations - was just a little musing

feel alot better now, thanks for giving me the opprtunity to vent
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