Originally Posted by Ariakas
Actually its very fair.
To believe, what you put out there will always be returned, is in a lot of ways an unfair expectation. I love our ex, but have none of it in return. To claim that is unfair puts pressure on her. Once you give, without the expectation of something to receive...things become easier
I write that easily btw, but this is a lesson I am learning myself. I suffered with a lot of pain when I knew, for the first time in my life, the love I gave someone wouldn't be returned. But it has been a worthwhile lessons in living without expectation.
I agree and disagree. We do not love in a vacuum with no desire to share. Relationships are all somewhat selfish or we would not choose to be in them. They meet needs or at least desires. It is not unreasonable to want something or even expect it (who does not have expectations of a spouse, for example?).
Fair was the wrong word. No one is guaranteed happiness, and we cannot expect
others to make us happy. Love, friendship, etc. is not born of obligation. But hopes can be dashed, and we can be hurt. I was acknowledging the pain. I think we have to recognize pain before we can release it.