I have been with my husband for just over 2 years now and during that time we have been through so much. We have seperated afew times but always come back together. He did physically abuse me at one point but has not done this for over a year. While that was happening he introduced me to a friend of his who i slowly got to know over the space of 15 months. He is so warm, makes me feel alive and we are so emotionally bonded, it feels intense.
I still love my husband, we still feel a strong pull towards each other too. I just dont want to be without either of them and i have always said this to them both.
My relationship with both men has been sexual but not at the same time. I have slept with my friend when husband was not here and i told them this, i have never hidden anything. Both men said they dont want to lose me and wont walk away. I am now pregnant with my friend, my husband knows this too and even though it was not planned, i am happy to keep our baby and so is my friend and husband. I love them both and have been thinking of making it more open or poly. Both men have too thought about it and how we could make it work and they both say they want a part in our babies life.
Its pulling me apart as i cant go more than afew days without one of them, we socialise as a group, are friends to each other and sometimes eat together. We all feel nervous of this but i feel confident that i love them both.
I dont want to feel guilty or betray either of them so i have stopped sex for now, accepting cuddles and a kiss. I still live with husband but see my friend most days. It all feels intense and i am sexually attracted to them both. Do you think that poly could be for me?.
I also love groups of friends, being around people doesnt bother me, i love company
. Where to live etc would be a big one, where to sleep mainly. Everyone is considering this but feeling nervous. I have never lied and am honest with feelings etc, good and bad.
I dont know how to live without them both, they make me feel complete. Any advice please?.