Thread: very confused
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Old 07-30-2010, 11:07 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by racer812 View Post
When all of this started and I thought she wanted to leave, I handed her my ring. It was immediately given back to me! K keeps telling me that I am the one she loves, I am the one that she wants to be with, I am her life. Then why must she keep H in her life? Why is she willing to risk all that we have? What is so damn important about him?
You have to learn to trust her, hard I know

Perhaps I need to listen. Perhaps I'm too mono. I still have my insecurities, being pushed out, being replaced. The thought of K having an emotional connection on the level that we do..........................
Honestly, it isn't a video game. I hear this magical level thing people bring up. I fell in love with our ex. It was intense but it is not the same love I feel for my wife. It just isn't.

Is there an measurable intensity difference, sure why not. But intensity isn't the only measure of love (in fact I explain below how, imo, it is partially love). Trust, length of term etc are all that as well. Take heart in what YOUR love means to the two of you. You are not in love at level 15 Her lover, with anyone else, will never be the love she has with you

Whoever I fall in love with will receive my love. However it doesn't remove how I love Pengrah or what that loves means to me in time and lessons learned.

One thing I do see a lot of people confusing are the differences between lust and love. The raw unadulterated need to fuck and enjoy the NRE that occurs is not love. They overlap sooo perfectly that they are easy to confuse, but they are easily recognizable when any of the other pairing leaves.

I can't count how many times I have considered being in love with someone, was riding the NRE wave and trust me on this, I am extremely lustful, it is my most enjoyable sin . Once the lust and the nre started to wear off, I realized THAT was the extent of the relationship.

I am not saying this will happen with your overall situation, but when the wave is on, you may be looking at THAT intense fire right in the face

Maybe I am still over thinking all of this. Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. I think patience and communication are the keys to my issues. We have a great level of communication, we can talk about anything. Patience is not one of my strongest qualities. But having kids has sure helped me learn patience..
Patience is a virtue that does not mesh well in my head. Its been a battle and a fight to learn how valuable patience is. I am 35 and learning this lesson now. I have a dutiful teacher which helps
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