Thank you, I really am breaking every paradigm I hold true in this. It's funny, if they were just swinging - I could care less. It's this whole relationshipy behaviour thats so excruciatingly painful.
She's been so strong trying to be fair, and yet quite Cloddish at times. She has a substantial heart, but has a much stronger self-preservation instinct than I do. I wish I knew how to help her more, but, it's taking everything I have and then some, to try to stay calm and loving.
I tried to find a poly-friendly therapist in my area today, batted zero.
So so far, I'm reading Ethical Slut, loooking for mentors/advice/and a bitch board here, batted zero finding therapist. What else can I do to empower myself to handle this best for all three of us. While I am completely annoyed by the BF choice, I know him, and in some odd way feel obligated to treat him with as much dignity as I can. Hell, he would have made a great buddy before this. In turn, I want to make sure everyone is careful to impact his family as little as possible.
Carring all this is just alot, any muscle building ideas would be hugely appreciated.