Please pardon the double-post, I know it's bad forum-form.
UGH I suck!
So last night was her first shot at taking me on a date. Well there's this restaurant I've been trying to take her to for years now. Last weekend she told me shes was running a race with him there, and I got pissed. Well, she takes me there last night. I know it's silly but it hurt. The whole date was disconnected, I knew she was somewhere else. For a bout half the ride home, and a half hour after we got home, she cried. Tried too hard to plan date, doesn't want to lose me, was uncofortable. I just held her. Home for less than a half hour, he texts her, asks her first where she took me, 5 minutes later he texts her to come out. Of course I told her to go, but I snapped. I was not even in the neioghborhood of nice. Something of "get the fuck away from me..go have fun..got money, condoms? Call if you get to drunk to drive.." All said with a growl. And they met at the strip club, which pissed me off even more. Firstly I enjoyed going there with her, secondly I was embarassed that the employees there would see them together. I was a furious mess.
We've since done the maya culpas, and are trying to have a good day today.
Will the peaks and valleys get smaller/further apart, or will I always be like this?
I also told her next time, he can come to house, I'll either go in other room, or leave, but it will be more discreet for them, and I won't be home screaming in my own head.
Good - Bad?