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Old 07-30-2010, 12:38 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,217

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
The virginity analogy fails. Yes, it's true that with being CF and being a virgin, once you pop that cork, you can never get the genie back in the bottle...

But a person is a virgin right up until the moment they have sex. Why can't a person be child-free right up until the moment they change their mind?

People change their religions, sexual orientations, even genders. Something like an attitude towards child-rearing seems much less fixed than those.

And while you've guaranteed that you'll never conceive your own biological babies, there's always adoption, hence it's still possible for even you to change your mind, unlikely as you say that is.
I was using the virginity analogy when it comes to someone who had a kid and gave it up for adoption, or for someone whose kid died, or for someone who somehow already replicated (I'm using that as a clinical expression to differentiate between the biological act of spreading one's DNA and the sociological act of parenting) but does not have the child in their possession for whatever reason. I was NOT using the virginity analogy when it comes to someone who was "CF until they changed their mind".

And I'm pretty sure I'll never want to adopt, because it's a long involved process, and at age 40, I continue to become more CF every minute that goes by. This is usually the age where women really start to get baby rabies if they haven't had it so far. It feels as though I'm getting anti-baby rabies. When I was younger, and people would say to me "you'll change your mind one day", I thought it was possible that I might, so I just waited... and waited... I'm still waiting. I'm still waiting to wake up one day and have this overwhelming desire for a kid. It ain't happening here. I feel NOTHING. As I type this, I am searching through the bowels of my soul for one last feeble glowing ember of unrequited maternal desires, and there is no such thing. I know people want to believe I'll change my mind so they can say "See? I told you you'd change your mind". I used to use that adoption line just to get people off my case. "I can always adopt." But, deep down I always knew it was just a line.

So, I'll say it once more: It is very insulting to repeatedly be told that I'll change my mind, so please stop forever. Go find someone else to "bingo". If you don't know what that means, please google "CF Bingo".

Last edited by NeonKaos; 07-30-2010 at 01:42 PM.
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