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Old 07-29-2010, 08:38 PM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilove2men View Post
... it took me digging into that with alot of tearful and sometimes dark/angry discussions AND alot of my fiance holding me in a non invasive way for me to finally drop my emotional guard..
Yeah....I also am a survivor of sexual assault and then went on to years of sexual promiscuity. When I finally found a partner that I wanted to be with long term, I had to deal with my sexuality also. I would have emotional flashbacks which would take me to a time when either I was being forced to have sex against my will, or a time when I was having meaningless sex. Either way- it didn't feel good for me, so I found myself wanting to avoid sex completely. My therapist was the one to say that I had to deal with my own issues which had caused me to shut down.....and yes, it was a can of worms, but worth it because if a person wants to have a fulfilling life of emotional/sexual connection these things must be done!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilove2men
... Now if the case with him is something deeper who knows if he's willing to touch that with a ten foot pole. If he is willing to dig deeper she needs to prepare to be patient and understanding as he goes through a process of discovery. In the end it's very much worth the work because I did achieve it. I'm just working on getting it back after a very bad summer.
Good for you!! I haven't had a negative emotional flashback in over 15 years, so it is possible to put this stuff to rest once and for all!! My partner did have to put up with a lot during the years of my working on things, and then I eventually left her. We are still friends and I hope she doesn't regret those years or feel that she got the "short end of the stick" or anything. Anyway...keep up the good work!!
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