In my situation my boyfriend lives 3 1/2 hrs away. I see him twice a month if I'm lucky (that changes Sunday!) Way back when my fiance dropped the pda boundary. Before he dropped the boundary he felt uncomfortable sitting to close to me in front of my boyfriend. Budkep and I both encouraged him to be as he normally is, but he was reluctant. So I took the bull by the horns and would grab his hand and pull him into a big hug and i'd let go when I felt him relax... Now this worked for us because he doesn't mind me being aggressive and the little pushes I gave helped him.
After he dropped the boundary it was my turn to feel uncomfortable. One thing, I was used to my affection with Budkep being... Idk.. It felt like a secret because there was a rule against it and when the rule was removed it still felt like it was supposed to remain a secret. With the help of my fiance I was able to let go of that. I came to realize that both have said they are okay and if I do anything that triggers them here on out is their responsibility to let me know and we discuss it.
So far we have all done well and I must say one of my favorite things in the world is sitting between them hold each of their hands. I took it one step farther last weekend and pulled them both closer to where I was sandwiched between them. (it was my birthday and figured I could get away with it
) It was heaven! So my point is that while you may worry you are taking something away you very well could be adding a new level of happiness by doing so.