Originally Posted by jbird
Am I wrong or is there a bit of a judgement being made that polyamorism is morally superior to other forms of non-monogamy? What does this re-defining do to the discussion about the innateness (versus choosing) of the condition? Is polyamorism more innate - or more legitimate as an identity - then "fucking around?"
No judgement of superiority, just an expectation of accuracy. Some non-monogamous folks who do something other than poly claim to be poly because they think it sounds better than what they do. There are swingers who use the term "poly" in an attempt to find sex partners who aren't interested in swinging. There are people who just want open relationships who hide behind the polyamory label when they have no interest in serious romantic attachments. It's all about accuracy in description.
Just so ya know, my wife and I are poly AND we have an open relationship. We're free to have relationships and casual sex, so I'm certainly not bashing fucking around. I just expect accuracy in descriptions.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.